As they are going through different periods of parenthood, what are some things that happen during that timeframe, whether it has to do with being a parent or not, that can be a transition for them? So probably the next typical really significant transition time for families is when an a child is getting ready to leave college or to become more independent in whatever way that looks like for them. And so it's one of those times that's both a combination of a lot of excitement and a lot of pride, sometimes a lot of worry, and feelings of loss too. You know? What what's our family gonna gonna look like? How are we gonna spend time together? How's my child gonna do in this you know, as they go about their next big change? And and it can feel sad for parents. What what do I do now that I I don't have, you know, somebody to be driving around town to all kinds of activities and to be hosting sleepovers? And so what what does my life look like now? And what does my relationship or my marriage look like now without the focus on, children in the day to day way that it's included for all this, you know, for eighteen years? How how do you help them to shift that identity, whether it's the mother or father, both shifting that identity and so that they are strengthening their own relationship again? Well, yeah. I I mean, it's a really important time in a relationship. Hopefully, you know, there's been strong communication, and that parents have made sure to take care of their marriage throughout raising their children and haven't left let it sort of fall to the wayside. Sometimes that happens. That's not uncommon. And then how do they rekindle that relationship? How do they get back to understanding that it is a priority and that and if there's underlying challenges there, I encourage them to work on that. Sometimes that means, suggesting or referring to some couples therapy in addition to whatever individual work we're doing and to really deal with, you know, what are their concerns as their child is headed off in a new direction.

What Parents Worry About When Their Adult Child Leaves Home

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“You raised them with roots and wings; now it’s time to trust both.”

When children leave for college or move into their own lives, many parents expect to feel proud and excited.

And they often do.

But alongside that pride, parents frequently experience worries they didn’t anticipate.

You might notice thoughts like:

Will my child be able to manage everything on their own?
What if they make choices that lead them down a difficult path?
Should I step in or stay quiet?
How much guidance is helpful—and when does it become too much?
Why does this transition feel harder than I expected?
Parents sometimes feel conflicted because they know independence is an important part of adulthood, yet the instinct to protect and guide doesn’t simply disappear.

Debbie often helps parents understand that this stage of life is not about stopping being a parent. Instead, it is about shifting the relationship from directing a child’s life to supporting an emerging adult.

For many families, this transition becomes an opportunity to build a deeper and more mutual relationship over time, one where the parent’s role evolves from guiding decisions to offering encouragement, perspective, and trust.

That shift can feel difficult at first, but it often leads to a more meaningful connection between parent and adult child in the years ahead.

This transition is often called the “empty nest,” but it’s much more than simply a quieter house.

It’s a major life transition for both the parent and the child.

The Emotional Side of Letting Go

When children move into adulthood, parenting does not end, but it does change.

Debbie often works with parents during this stage of life because it can raise important questions about identity, relationships, and family dynamics.

Parents sometimes find themselves wondering:

What does my role look like now that my child is independent?
How much guidance should I give and when should I step back?
How do I manage my worry about their decisions?
What does this change mean for my own life and my relationship with my partner?

Many parents are surprised by the emotional complexity of this stage.

In Debbie’s experience, the transition often brings both joy and sadness at the same time.

Parents may feel proud of their child’s independence while also grieving the end of a phase of life that has been central for many years.

Both emotions can exist together.

Redefining The Parent–Child Relationship

One of the most important shifts during this time is the transition from a parent–child relationship to an adult-to-adult relationship.

For many years, parents have been responsible for guiding decisions, setting boundaries, and helping shape their child’s path.

As children enter adulthood, that role begins to change.

Debbie often helps parents navigate questions like:

How do I support my child without directing their life?
How do I express confidence in their ability to figure things out?
How do I manage my own worries when I cannot control the outcome?

Debbie explains that one of the most meaningful parts of this stage is watching children grow into independent adults and learning to enjoy a new kind of relationship with them.

Over time, many parents find that this stage opens the door to a relationship that is more mutual, relaxed, and deeply rewarding.

What It’s Like to Work With Debbie

Debbie’s approach to therapy is warm, respectful, and thoughtfully engaging.

When working with parents navigating this transition, therapy becomes a place where you can:

talk openly about the emotions that come with letting go
explore how your role as a parent is evolving
process worries about your child’s future
reflect on how family dynamics are changing
consider what this next chapter of your life might look like

Debbie also provides parent guidance, helping parents think through how to support their adult children while allowing them to grow and develop independence.

A key part of this stage is communicating something many young adults deeply need to hear from their parents:

“I believe in you. You will figure this out.”

Learning how to offer that kind of support while also managing your own feelings can strengthen the relationship for years to come.

Rediscovering Your Own Next Chapter

The transition to an empty nest also creates space for parents to reflect on their own lives.

After years of focusing heavily on raising children, many parents begin asking new questions:

What do I want the next stage of my life to look like?
How can I reconnect with my partner now that our roles are changing?
What interests, relationships, or goals would I like to pursue?

For some families, this transition becomes an opportunity to strengthen the marital relationship and rediscover shared interests that may have been put aside during busy parenting years.

Rather than feeling like something is ending, many parents begin to see this stage as the beginning of a new phase of life.

What Parents Often Gain From This Work

Over time, many parents find that therapy helps them:

feel more comfortable with the changing role of parenting
communicate more effectively with their adult child
manage worry and anxiety about their child’s choices
reconnect with their partner and personal interests
approach this stage of life with greater confidence and perspective

The goal is not to stop caring about your child.

The goal is to support their independence while also building a fulfilling next chapter for yourself.

Let’s Talk About This Transition

Sending a child to college or watching them move into their own life can be one of the most meaningful and emotional transitions in parenting.

You do not have to navigate it alone.

Debbie offers in-person therapy in Denver near Cherry Creek as well as virtual sessions for clients in multiple states.

You are welcome to schedule a free consultation to talk briefly about what you are experiencing and see whether working together feels like the right fit.

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Frequently Asked Questions

The empty nest is more than just a scheduling change, it is a major identity and relationship shift. You are proud of your child’s independence, but you are also grieving the everyday life you have known for years.
Parents often ask: Who am I now if I am not needed in the same way? What will my days look like? What will my marriage or partnership look like without children at the center? Therapy gives you space to feel both the pride and the sadness and to sort through what this new chapter can be.
Therapy helps you name and validate the mix of emotions such as joy, fear, loss, and relief that come with watching your child step into adulthood. Instead of rushing past those feelings, we slow down and explore what you are letting go of and what you would like to create next.
We also talk about the evolving relationship with your adult child: how to shift from hands-on parenting to a more adult-to-adult connection that still feels close, loving, and respectful of their independence.
When children leave home, long-standing patterns in a marriage or partnership often come into sharper focus. Without the daily structure of parenting, couples may discover distance, unresolved resentment, or simply a sense of "now what?" with each other.
In therapy, we explore how to reconnect as partners, not just co-parents, whether that means rebuilding communication, rediscovering shared interests, or deciding together what you want this next chapter of your relationship to look like.
Yes. It is completely normal to struggle with a transition even when you know it is the right step and you are happy for your child. Humans can feel both joy and grief at the same time.
Therapy offers a place where you do not have to minimize your feelings or rush yourself to "get over it." Instead, we treat this transition as a meaningful ending and beginning moment worth honoring, not just pushing through.
We focus on three main areas: your feelings about your child’s transition, your relationship with your partner (if applicable), and your sense of self beyond the parenting role. That might include revisiting old interests, exploring new goals, or redefining what a meaningful day looks like for you now.
We also work on letting go of patterns that no longer serve you, such as over-functioning for your adult child while strengthening the connection you still want to have with them in this new phase of life.
A strong adult relationship grows out of shifting from directing your child’s life to believing in their ability to direct it themselves. In therapy, we talk about how to offer support, curiosity, and encouragement without taking over.
You may practice new ways of communicating, asking different questions, setting boundaries around advice, and sharing more of yourself as a person rather than only as a parent. Over time, this opens space for a relationship that can feel deeply rewarding for both of you.